Happily Haphazard

I’m a PAL.  A non card carrying member...but a member none the less.  And part of your duties, as a member of the pal organization, is to offer your unsolicited services for things like housewarming parties, relationship advice,  free “hope you feel better” lunches, and also...airport shuttle service.  This is just one of those things that makes our organization work so well.  We DO things for each other.  Sometimes we do them begrudgingly, sometimes we do them very caringly, but we do DO them, and so harmony reigns.        (DJ, yes, I’ve now said duties and do do. Try to contain yourself).

Such was my Sunday evening last weekend when I drove out to the airport to pick up Tony and Amanda from their awesome time in NM.  I personally, totally love a long drive alone. It was a gorgeous evening and the sun was low enough in the sky that it

didn’t make you squint, but it was bright enough to paint your face with golden tones and feel awesome accompanying the wind in your hair as you drove. I listened to the Ipod and sang at the top of my lungs all the way there.  I LOVED IT.

I also love sitting at the airport alone. No-SERIOUSLY, I do!   In fact, I arranged my last solo flight with a lay-over so I would actually have time to sit alone and watch people while I waited, seriously- I love to fly. (could also be because I’ve never passed out and had an ambulance waiting on the tarmac to escort me and a veterinarian to the emergency room either, ::wink::)

The only thing I DO hate about the airport...is trying to GET IN IT.  It’s a ridiculous labyrinth of merry-go-round turns at the DFW airport.  I usually have to turn off the radio, put on my glasses, and sit on the edge of my seat to be able to speed-read each and every sign I drive by trying to guess if I’ve picked the right upcoming lane by chance. 

This time as I drive in, Amanda phones me to let me know what gate they are taxiing up to. (It was really PERFECT timing on our parts pal!)  C11 she says, and with that I think-bring on the direction signs!

Okay, so, first I see a sign that could have been written in hieroglyphics for all I know...because I am approaching it so quickly that I barely have time to see that ...YES! There was a C on it!!  **SWERVE** to that lane in a dodge ball kind of moment.

Okay, good, next sign....two arrows...first word was.....GATE. YES, I SAW “GATE”- but too LATE did I see GATE,  and now I believe I’m on approach to the departure exit instead.  But not a problem!  We’ll just go around again and catch the sign on the next pass. Coming around, coming around.

Buses all around me...no biggy, I’m not sweating yet.

Annnnnnnnnnnnd here we come to the sign again.

First word is gate we know.  Second word is....is.....C1-8! 

Yes, folks Gate 1-8 were the words on it! But that’s not where we’re headed. 

Sadly I have lost in the lane-change-game and taken the exit anyway...because I made a judgment call and so cost me another lap around the merry-go-round.  No biggy...we’ll just make another crazy loop around to catch that sign again.

And on and on, you get the picture I’m sure.

I do finally make it to the famed C11 gate...which, was not actually marked.  But since I can see gate C1-8 and C13-20, I’m totally sure that it falls somewhere in the middle.  I park the car and after visiting the ladies room, head outside to sit on a bench and start my people watching adventure.

It’s really funny to watch how people interact at the airport.  Mostly they are either being greeted with a rush of smiles and hugs.  “HI!!! How are you!!?? Can I help you with your bag! OOh, I’ve missed you so much!”

Or they’re being left on the curb with a sad “Well, I’ll see you next time. Take care okay! Tell ----- I said Hello! Call me when you get in.” 

Right in front of me is a middle aged guy who opens his trunk to get 2 suitcases out for an older lady that appears to be his mom.  She is planning to come back for Christmas.  Sally will be so happy because that’s when she has planned her surgery. Hugs and smiles are given between every other word.  This is a close family.

And further down the curb, in contrast you can see a couple that is a bit more staunch. A younger girl gets out and opens the rear door for a man who is close in age, her brother perhaps?  She gives him a very sterilized hug and in a robotic tone he says to her  “Okay. Thank you. Goodbye. Yes, Goodbye.” and she gets back into the car, while he stands at attention watching until their brake lights are out of view.  Then he turns on his heel and vanishes inside.

I sit trading glimpses with a lady talking on a cell phone inside a BMW in front of me.

She seems snooty and I wonder what she thinks of me sitting alone on a bench watching everyone else so intently.  I also wonder what type of person she is waiting to pick up.

Further down on the other side, comes a gaggle of African American boys who seem to work for some part of the airport service, because they are all dressed alike in red vests over white shirts that have to cover half their bum, since their pants are sagging.  They cut up and call very loudly to each other.  Talking about who works tomorrow, and why one is better than the other.  One of the gagglers PLOPS down next to me on the bench w/ such force that it startles me.  I pretend not to notice though.  I see a tiny little girl in a purple cheerleading costume farthest down the curb, and another little baby boy hanging out a car window saying, “Over there?... Over there?... Over there?” over and over again. 

Busy people in a hurry hustle by, and strollers waiting on arrivals dawdle along.  Many distinctually different people, all with separate worlds intersecting here at a crossroads on the sidewalk outside the airport, and I make mental notes and watch each. 

And then, the most interesting airport patron of the visit emerges from the doors behind me.  He’s walking very fast as though something is pressing him.  Behind him he pulls a travel bag on wheels.  Around the long handle there is a plastic bag hanging with something inside and it’s dragging on the ground making a scuffing noise.  As he nears me, through the translucent bag I can see two cartons of cigarettes.  He picks up his pace with urgency and breezes past me towards the gaggle to my right.

“HEY, you got a light? You?  You got a light?!” he says rather frantically and sticks an unlit cigarette in their face.  This is comical, since none of them seem old enough to smoke.  And they don’t either.  He then does a 180 in the opposite direction as if he’s picked up the scent of something in the air.  He pinpoints another gentleman on approach and literally is so ecstatic- that this man of at least forty years old drops his case and wind sprints up to his saving grace.

“Hey, hey...can I get a light?” he says with absolute giddiness in his voice.

And the fellow smoker happily gives over his cigarette to the man to light his from.  Now THERE’s an addiction, I think to myself. The now quenched smoker turns around to come back for his lost case, picks it up and casually strolls in the first direction towards the parking lot as if he were just like any other traveler.  I continue to observe him until I see his bootheels disappear to the second floor of the garage.

Soon after that, a car smaller than my guest bathroom pulls up alongside the curb in front of me and into it squeeze all 5 of the red vested gagglers.  What should be a 4 passenger vehicle then waits with hazard lights on, until a 6^th  red vested employee emerges and squeezes in too.  And then, off they go to whatever airport gagglers do after work.  Intriguing.

After awhile the wind starts to pick up a bit now that the sun has set and I decide to head inside to keep warm.  As soon as I find a place to sit, my cell rings and it’s Tony.

            “Hey we’re finally here” he says “and we’re outside across the street from the parking lot.  In front of me I see a white delivery truck.”

I know exactly where he is, because I watched that truck unload vegetables not 10 minutes earlier.  I head outside to greet my chums. As I walk up to them I say into the phone,

            “Are you looking at a black BMW with a snooty lady sitting in it?”

            “Yes!” Tony says “Raise your hand so I can see you”

At this point I am standing right behind him, but I raise my hand to be funny anyway. 

He turns around and we have that overused comical moment when we are both looking face to face at each other whilst still talking on the phone to one another. 

“HI, How are you! Can I help you with your bag! OOh, I’ve missed you so much!”  I also wind up saying, and then we head out to the parking lot to find my lost car.

We find it and after a few hours of riding the DFW merry- go – round, and we finally exit to head back to Amanda’s car and the end of my pals’ vacation.  I’m so glad I could be the finishing part to it!

I also hope we can do something about that “card carrying” part of being a pal.  I think I've earned it.

 Dave posted a blog in the Religion section of his blogspace, about the entire works of Darwin being published.  I love philosophy, religion, and debate, so I checked it out.It's difficult to read some of Darwin's works for the average person.  I know what his basic idea is, that man evolved, but I don’t know what he believes life was originally created from. (Is his theory similar to "Big Bang"?) I would like to hear more about Darwin's core theories, but am having trouble sifting through this site.

The following, is not intended to prove anyone right or wrong, just purely written to hear various viewpoints and gain information so that we can each make our own knowledgeable choices. (you wouldnt pick door #2, without wanting to know what #1 and #3 are..would you?)

So here are some thoughts that I would like to hear responses on.

If someone (or yourself) does not believe in creationism...do you (or they) believe in ghosts or other supernatural encounters?  Do you believe that all ghosts or such spirits are evil, or are there some good? 

What do you believe is the driving force that makes some people inheritantly 'evil' (serial murders, terrorists, etc.) and others good?  If you believe in evil, supernatural or not, then you would have to have some sort of counterpart to it would you not?  And if you believe in spirits, WHERE did they evolve from? 

I did a research paper for a theology class a few years ago, and one of the topics was how ancient theologians tried to write out theorems to prove the existence of God or other spiritual deities.  Some were pages and pages long.  The logic behind some were cloudy and relied on the reader to accept parts of the beliefs as truth to get to the next stage.  But the one that was written to prove the existence of a Christian God was as basic as they could be. I cannot recall it or which Theologian wrote it now, but I do remember that it was very simplistic in nature.  I found that in itself interesting for this reason; If a God created you, wouldn’t he know the limitations of your mind (“your” being the average mind of the entire species) and wouldn't it make sense that it should be easily understandable to the average person to know that he exists? This is all aside, of course, from the principals of faith, which according to the Christian scripture- asks it's followers to believe despite all else. 

I find it interesting too, that historical evidence to prove a dinosaur bone is what it is, can be so widely believed, and yet historical accounts written, documented, and well known throughout nearly all races of man...are still doubted among some.  I am not judging, I am just thoroughly interested in what people base their decision on, emotional or physical findings?  Dave makes a comment I find funny and true... that some “monkeys have better sense than some of the people I have met that believe in creationism.”   I think I have met these same people Dave! However- to say that about an entire group is of course unfair, being that you are basing it on the misinformed, ignorant and generally weaker members of the group.  So too, every group has some. (Lawyers, Teachers,  Muslims, Darwinists..  ;o)   

Finally, an interesting point in the article from the site on creationism, that Dave gave, says this: "...Maybe scientists, though smart in some ways, could be generally weak in other areas, like spiritual perception (...like a "nerd" who's brilliant with computers, but who has trouble dealing with humans.)  You wouldn't want a brilliant lawyer to perform open heart surgery on you even though he or she is smart, or a jet mechanic to do your taxes, right? So (why should we) trust scientists when it comes to what are really ancient history and spiritual matters - our origins and the purpose of life?

As a kid growing up in Oklahoma and New Mexico, we camped a lot.  Mostly we did trail-ride campouts because we owned horses.  It wasn't until I grew up, married, and moved away that I realized how much I missed this experience.  There's nothing like sitting around with pals at night, playing flashlight tag or telling stories, and rising early to sit among the dewy grass and fry potatos over an open fire.  I miss that.

I have yet to relive similar camping experiences I had as a kid, though I'm hoping to try and make a trip this spring, trading the part played by "horses" for "boats" that belong to my good pal DJ and family. This is not to say, though, that I have done NO camping. Since moving to Texas, I have twice visited Tres Rios in April, for their annual BlueGrass Fest.  Bluegrass?  Yes, I know..it's not really my cup of tea as far as music goes but consider it a side note, literally.  The camp area is impeccably  nice. It's a great safe family trip.  It's right off of the Brazos River where you can rent canoes for the afternoon, or fish if you are so inclined.  You can select tent sites, or furnished cabins.  The cost is pretty minimal.  The whole thing is really a lot of fun, and nearby are several touristy type places to visit during the day.  Dinosaur museums and actual footprints for you to see and touch are waiting.  The downtown city has the usual 'small town' charm.  Antiquities shops are all over.  There is an incredible restaurant that I have never eaten anything like.  It's called the Loco Coyote, and their burgers are as big as a basketball.  Share whatever you get with someone.  Im not sure what they season their food with, but it is incredible! A must try for sure!! April is blue bonnet season too. There are fields and fields of them at the state park. So many, it starts to look more like an ocean than flora, when driving by it.  At night, lying in your bed, you can hear the 'tin, tingle, strum' of banjos and church hymns in the distance.  It's peaceful somehow. 

Check out the campsite..and give it a whirl!

http://www.tresrioscamping.com/

Below is a writing exercise that I did a few years ago.  We were to take these 5 classic Henny Youngman One Liners and write a brief chapter with them.

1.) Take my wife, Please! 

2.) A little gossip goes a long way in this town.

3.) Answers are what we have for other people's problems.

4.) To a bald guy, dandruff is a cheap thrill.

5.) He who laughs, lasts. 

Enjoy!

     “Take my wife, Please!” 

It was a cheesy over-used line, but during my moment of excruciating embarrassment it was all I could think of.  Standing there, blinded by a spotlight, and nearly deafened by the chirping crickets, I endured my first and last attempt at amateur night.

I dictated the rest of my act with lightning speed like someone had pushed my fast-forward button.  No one laughed.  No one snickered.  No one even flashed a tooth.  I choked out a half-hearted “Thank-you! You’ve been a great crowd,” bowed and sprinted from the stage so quickly, the mic was still squealing when I hit the door.  Maybe if I hurried, I could make it home before word spread of my awful act.  A little gossip goes a long way in this town, and it wouldn’t be long before Jim would hear about what I’d done. 

Jim was somewhat of a mentor to me as far as stand up comedy goes.  Really, he was more like my mooching, no-job friend though.  He was not intelligent, as far as school went, but a brilliant man of comedy.  He could tell jokes with such precision, only a surgeon could make your insides hurt more.   But as I approached my car, I could see him sitting on the hood.

       “Whoa…what happened there, buddy?  That was really… painful to watch Cass.”   Jim looked up from the cigarette he was lighting.

      “You were there?” The moment was growing undeniably worse.  “...yeah, you like that?  It’s something new I’m trying out.  I call it Casper...Not So Funny After All.’”      

      “Cass, Cass. Relax!  Even the ‘greats’ take awhile to get into their groove, man.  You just gotta practice, work up to funny.”  Jim’s words were of little comfort to me.  It was like trying to take instruction from an idiot savant on how to solve cosmic math equations. 

      “Look, everyone has to take some falls first.  Take for example that funny guy on late night TV.  Ha Ha!" Jim slapped his knee and chuckled.  "What’s his name?  Sheppard, something Sheppard.  Man, what IS HIS name?  You know the one, he comes on after Letterman?””

      “I dunno Jim." I said growing more irritated with him. "Answers are what we have for other people’s problems”

      “Now that’s funny Cass, see you’re getting funnier by the minute”  Jim stared up at the sky poking at his forehead with a dirty finger as if to push the answer out of his ear. 

     “DON SHEPPARD!”  He shouted, apparently finding the answer somewhere in his black hole of a head. “YES! Don Sheppard!  That’s the guy.  I LOVE him!  He’s got that funny bald-guy bit. Now THAT guy is funny!”      

    “Jim, he’s not trying to be funny. He, he’s an infomercial, not a comedian.”      

     “GET OUTTA HERE!”

    “No, yeah seriously.  He’s an infomercial to sell that spray-on hair stuff.”

     “Your killin’ me, who’d buy that kind of crap!?”  He said, squinching up his eyes making a swirly motion over his head with his hand.  I couldn’t help glancing obviously at Jim’s shiny cue ball just above his eyes. 

      “Hey!  All I’m sayin’ is to a bald guy, dandruff’s a thrill!  A cheap thrill, but a THRILL non-the-less”  I let out a laugh.  Jim was not a smart guy, but the guy always remained true to the comedian credo;  He who laughs, lasts.

Okay, Im weird. I like filling out surveys. Those background information charts that Doctors have you fill out, I love those. I LOVE to talk about myself to others. Even taxes give me a little thrill.  I love to think about myself and then share it with you.  Doesn’t everyone?  I'm a good balance though, because I also love to listen to others and you.  Get a feel for who you are, and then adjust my behavior toward you as neccessary.   Today I've created my own survey for your participation, those online surveys that go around by email leave a great deal to be desired.  I could care less if you like chocolate or white chocolate, what's under your bed, or featured on your mouse pad.  I do not give a gosh darn about what type of computer you own (Which used to be one of the questions on the AOL bio) or what time it was when you started. Stupid, stupid questions.  

Add even more questions if you want in your comments back about this blog.

Then we will truly spread the Love, blog style.

Why? I love Dave's music. He's not flashy or glitzy..he's just funny.  The funny thing is, that you can hardly understand a lot of his words, or the true meaning behind his songs.  Despite sounding lovely and sweet, Crash is really a song about voyerism.  But that's the beauty of his music...it's subjective, kind of like art. I like that.

What song do you consider your anthem?  Ok..this is going to be a bit cliche, but "Bitch" by Meredith Brookes. 

Why?  Cause I do embody those things, Bitch (yes, sometimes) Lover, child, mother, sinner, saint....  I dont feel  ashamed...Im just those things at any moment. Yep.

Do you feel you came from a normal family? Yes, I do, despite having divorced and remarried parents, which actually IS the norm these days.  Why or why not?  Both my parents are well adjusted working adults.  They have normal lives, and have hobbies and interests. Neither smokes, or drinks excessively.  So yeah. Pretty normal. Again, normal is in the eye of the beholder...cause...my mom did butcher rabbits that we raised, and I have tried everything from calves brains, to cat-tails to eat. She's rather adventurous...

Is there any history of mental illness on your paternal side? Um, I dont think so. I do have an uncle that always wears a chicken on his sweater. Is that mental?

What is it, and have you noticed similar symptoms lately?  No, I have never worn a chicken sweater.

When you talk to people face to face, what do you look at while they are talking? I look at their mouth. But halfway through the conversation, I think..ooh, I wonder if they know Im looking at their mouth..I better look at their eyes..crap..did they just notice that I looked up...wonder if they know that I am looking at their eyes now instead of their mouth.  And then, I realize I didnt hear what they said.

Have you ever choked on your own spit?  Yes, I do it pretty frequently..is that normal?

If you had to eat one thing for the rest of your life, what would it be? Specifically.  Shellfish. Lobster, Crab and Shrimp. With a side of pasta.  I hope to own a Red Lobster one day.

Can you wiggle your ears, or whistle really loud with your fingers in your mouth? No..I cannot do either.

If not, what is your biggest talent?  I can roll my toungue into 3 lobes at once. I can also do the Scooby Doo laugh. But only once.

If you could go back to highschool, would you?  In a heartbeat...I LONG for irresponsibility again.

When you are all alone and know that no one is watching...what do you do?  I put on my favorite music CD, and sing loud with my eyes closed into a microphone, on an imaginary stage, to imaginary adoring fans. 

Thanks for your time and attention!